вЂњThank youвЂќ, вЂњHelloвЂќ, вЂњGive meвЂ¦ pleaseвЂќ and some other phrases and words are among a few words that foreigners simply in Korea learn and included in this is actually the term chingu , translated loosely as вЂњfriendвЂќ. Foreigners splice this word within their English sentences without hesitation and employ it seemingly without understanding what it really means. This really is probably one of my least favorite terms in Korean and IвЂ™ll explain why.
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Some years back, I became taking lessons that are korean times per week for four hours every day. I was devouring just as much as I could associated with the language because I became dating a Korean man, nearly all of my buddies were Korean not to mention I became located in Korea and I wished to make life just a little easier. Before you take the classes, I became hesitant and weary of the thing I regarded as forced respect inside the guidelines associated with language, elements of the language that force us to show a respect that I might n’t have for someone. Simply because folks are older doesnвЂ™t mean they always deserve respect and also at that point IвЂ™d held it’s place in sufficient circumstances to understand that quite a few, often, guys simply assumed that i ought to be respectful of those and even though they disrespected me in various ways. Through the classes, we discovered just how to show my disapproval when being disrespected without being downright rude and I also learned how exactly to be much more assertive in Korean. One of the greatest lessons we learned, nonetheless, ended up being that i’ve very nearly no вЂњfriendsвЂќ in Korea. (From here on out вЂњfriendвЂќ in parenthesis could be the Korean kind of friend while a freestanding buddy will function as the English variation.)
My is japan cupid legit hubby, boyfriend during the time, and I also chose to have a meet up at our home and invited our close Korean friends. There were about 10 of us all over table and I also was the only foreigner in the spot. As of this point, IвЂ™d known my boyfriend and all sorts of of their friends for a beneficial four to five years and in my native tongue, I would phone them my buddies. Following the meals had been completed therefore the dishes picked up, I was thinking a game title will be fun. Taking what IвЂ™d learned from class about how to call some body by title, I said, вЂњSo-yung-a, do you wish to play a casino game?вЂќ making use of the lower kind of the language. I experienced been gaining self-confidence with the language and utilizing it whenever i possibly could. There was clearly a gasp that is audible after a couple of seconds of silence, So-yung said, вЂњyes,вЂќ but two for the more aggressively conservative people in the group told me i really couldnвЂ™t say вЂњSo-yung-aвЂќ to So-yung.
Friend 1: So-yung is more than you will be.
Friend 2: You canвЂ™t say вЂњSo-yung-aвЂќ because youвЂ™re younger than this woman is.
Me personally: WeвЂ™re friends though.
Buddy 1: No, youвЂ™re not friends with So-yung.
Me: just What can you mean? IвЂ™ve known her for many years. We have her telephone number during my phone. She is seen by me a great deal. We have been buddies and my book says this is certainly an ending that is appropriate a buddy.
Friend 2: No, you canвЂ™t be friends than you are because she is older.
Me: I donвЂ™t determine what youвЂ™re saying.
Buddy 1: it is possible to simply be buddies with some body this is the same age as your self.
Me: Well, that doesnвЂ™t make any feeling. You might be all my friends and you’re all over the age of I am.
Buddy 1: We arenвЂ™t friends and family.
After that we went along to my space for only a little cry mostly because I was just told I experienced no friends and in addition as the language these people were making use of to convey their standpoint had been very aggressive and I also donвЂ™t handle aggressive situations perfectly. Originating from a teaching viewpoint, aggressively attacking a student for making use of a term or a phrase inappropriately hardly ever makes the student respond in a way that is positive. Frequently, the learning student becomes more timid to utilize the language or you will need to use terms as time goes on unless theyвЂ™re completely clear on their meaning. In addition reminded my вЂњfriendsвЂќ later on that I donвЂ™t attack them when they misuse a word, if it is excessively rude, We remind myself so itвЂ™s not their very first language and I attempt to assist them to realize why it may be taken the wrong manner. My вЂњfriendsвЂќ but, are not therefore patient with my language purchase. I had taken some things and words in the book for granted not realizing they didnвЂ™t mean what it appeared they meant though I had excitingly read through my lesson books and went through discussions in my class. Two associated with more tolerant users of our group came in to soothe me and explain in nicer terms what everybody else had gotten so upset about.